


Why a Toad?

by thenerdyindividual



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Photographer, Fluff, Husbands, Idiots in Love, M/M, wedding anniversary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 04:24:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19738267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thenerdyindividual/pseuds/thenerdyindividual
Summary: Harry and Merlin’s twenty-seventh anniversary is fast approaching. Merlin knows exactly what to get his husband as a gift this year. It just takes a little adventuring to find it.





	Why a Toad?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [anarchycox](https://archiveofourown.org/users/anarchycox/gifts).



Merlin cards his fingers through his husband’s hair. How it is still so thick and dark after nearly thirty years together is a wonder. Merlin had to start shaving his head by their third year together. 

Harry’s head in his lap. The initial rush of Merlin being home again had been well stated the night before. Now they are just happy to have intimacy. Harry has a tablet propped up in his lap, scrolling through what looks like Pinterest. Merlin is chapters deep into a book about ruins being uncovered in South America. 

Perhaps they should go there one day. Indulge Harry’s love for butterflies and his love for adventure. Yes. That could be quite the nice vacation. 

“I think I’d like a pink weighted toad.” Harry says conversationally.  
That’s enough to pull Merlin out of his book, “Why?”  
“It would look rather dashing don’t you think?”  
“I suppose.”

What the fuck is a pink weighted toad? 

“Hmmm maybe for our anniversary. Speaking of which Eggsy is insisting on throwing us an anniversary party. I told him that twenty-seven years wasn’t exactly one that is a big party anniversary. But he insisted.”  
“He called me dad the other day. Was a bit distressing.”  
“Oh shut up. You know you loved it. He’s a sweet young man.”

Merlin doesn’t bother with a response. He just runs his fingers through Harry’s hair again. He is still back on the pink weighted toad. He’s never heard of it before but he isn’t exactly the encyclopedia of toad species. But if Harry wants one for their anniversary then Merlin will make that happen. 

*

Merlin is locked in his office. Harry is out at the shop but you never know when that man will decide he feels like being domestic and will try to come home to have lunch with Merlin. He can’t risk an unlocked door ruining the surprise. 

He has a tab open on his laptop. It is a list of all of the exotic animal shops in and around London. He’s sure many of them operate in a grey area but they suit his needs just fine for now. 

“Reggie’s Animal Kingdom. This is Mark.” a teenage voice answers on the other end.  
“Hi there Mark,” Merlin says brightly or as brightly as he can anyway, “I am looking for a particular type of animal as an upcoming gift and I was wondering if you might know where I can purchase it.”  
“Hang on,” Mark drawls, “Let me pull up the database,” there’s some lethargic clicking on the other end before he comes back on the line, “What animal are you looking for.”  
“A pink weighted toad.”  
More keys clacking, “Sorry mister. No pink toads.”

Merlin’s heart falls a little. That had been the response from the last five shops. He doubts the answer will be any different at the next one. He thanks Mark for his time and hangs up. 

He’s right about the next shop. No luck. 

*

“You got home only a month ago. Do you really have to go again so soon?” Harry doesn’t whine, he’s too old for that, but Merlin can hear the plea in his voice.  
“I can’t refuse a call from NatGeo because you miss me Harry. I wish I could. I really wish I could but if I ever want to photograph anything again I have to go.” He does feel a bit bad for lying to the love of his life. He hopes the surprise is worth it.  
“Alright,” Harry sighs, “Be safe at least.”  
“I’ll do my best.” Merlin promises and kisses Harry deeply. Then he hops in cab to the airport. 

*

“So sorry I’m late. Lectures ran long. How can I help you?” Dr. Olsen asks as she sits down.  
“Ye work with frogs and toads correct?” Merlin asks.  
“Yes. I am part of project that is trying to map as many indigenous species around the world as we can. You mentioned in your email you were looking for a specific one?”  
“I came across ‘pink weighted toad’ on a list of species somewhere but it had no picture. I was hoping you could give me a start as to where to track it down. I was hoping to photograph it.”  
“And you came all the way to Norway to ask me in person instead of email because…?” Dr. Olsen asks.  
“I am in and out of reception a lot. It would have added extra time to my search and I was going to be in town.”

Really he just doesn’t want any trouble in his emails. He plans on getting a photo of it for Harry. However if he has the opportunity to catch it and bring it home for a time before putting it back, he’d rather not have customs and who knows what else using his emails as proof. 

“Well according to our database nothing under that name has been mapped yet. However that doesn’t mean they haven’t been found. The data just hasn’t been loaded into ArcMap yet or the toad you’re referring to has a more popular nickname.”  
“Any chance ye could tell me where my best chance would be?”  
“I’d start in the tropics it’s where most of them live. Southern edge of the United States and work your way down through the rain forests of South America. I can give you a list of the outposts used for collecting data.”  
“Are ye allowed to do that?”  
“It’s my project, I can make it happen. Besides if you catch a photo of this creature it would help our research.”  
“A list of outposts would be wonderful.”

Dr. Olsen brings up a list on her desktop. An ancient heavy thing the blonde wood of the desk struggles to hold up. A printer in the corner of the office chugs away until a neat list of outposts is printed. Merlin takes the stack and thanks Dr. Olsen profusely. 

*

He works in a zigzag headed south. He starts in Florida and works his way across to Southern California. Then down into Mexico. The response is the same in each outpost he reaches. Haven’t heard of it. 

It isn’t until he’s at the southern tip of Brazil that finally he gets a break. A grad student was listening to his increasingly frustrated conversation with the head researcher. Just as Merlin is about to call it quits, the young woman swoops in like an angel. 

“Could you mean a pink crested toad?” she asks  
“Maybe. It wasn’t very clear when I heard it.”  
“We do have a toad here that the locals call what loosely translated to pink crested toad. Maybe that’s what you’re looking for.”  
“You know more than me so I am going to lean towards yes. That’s what I’m looking for.”  
“Sneaky little buggers. Nocturnal which makes it nearly impossible for us to collect one for a sample. Photos would really help.”

Thankfully Dr. Oliveira agrees. He gives permission for Merlin to join the grad students in the field that night. 

*

For all the adventuring Merlin’s done it has never taken him to the jungle. Deserts, mountains, tundra, but no jungles. 

It turns out jungles suck. The ground is muddy from all the rain. There are way too many spiders for Merlin to be comfortable. He’s fairly certain they’re being stalked by a wild cat. Apparently it had gotten into some unattended packs a few weeks back and now it was hoping for another happy accident. 

The grad students all seem unbothered. In fact they named the cat Jorge. 

They don’t have any luck finding the toad the first night. The second night a tropical storm rolls in and makes the trails impassable. It adds another two weeks to Merlin’s trip. 

It seems the universe has finally relented. The second night back they don’t find just one toad. They find a whole colony of them hanging out in a fallen log. Seems that the storm flushed them out. 

Merlin thinks these photos are the most important he’s ever taken. He doesn’t bother trying to smuggle an actual toad home. 

*

He arrives back in England the night before their anniversary. He’d emailed the copy of the photo he’d wanted to print from a tiny cafe in Brazil. He also brought home a bag of coffee to give to Eggsy as a thank you for helping Harry plan the party while he was gone. The print will be ready for pick up right before the party is meant to begin. 

He showers in the downstairs guest room then slides silently into bed behind Harry. Harry jerks awake, but settles when he sees it’s Merlin. He presses a slip warm kiss to Merlin’s jaw. 

“I missed you. I wasn’t sure you’d be back in time.”  
“I’ve never missed an anniversary before. I wasn’t going to start now.”

*

The party is well underway when Harry finally finds his way back to Merlin. He snuggles close to his side and Merlin is helpless against him. He wraps his arms around Harry and just holds him for a bit. 

“I have a gift for you.” Harry says after a while.  
“I have one for you too.” Fresh from the printers an hour ago. 

Harry fishes his gift from the drawer in the hallway table. Merlin unearths his from behind the couch. 

“A watch?” he asks, a bit perplexed.  
“A weather proof, and fall proof watch. I know you always wear the one your grandfather gave you but it’s starting to get old. I was worried the clasp might break while you were out in the field and you would lose it. So I thought maybe this one for in the field, your grandfather’s for when you’re at home?”

Merlin grins and pulls Harry in for a kiss. Man always was good at giving gifts. This might be the first year Merlin’s topped him. 

“I love it Harry. It’s perfect. Open yours.”

Merlin watches with bated breath as Harry tears the wrapping paper from the print. He can’t wait to see the look on Harry’s face. 

“Oh. A frog.” Harry says but the enthusiasm rings false. 

Well the things didn’t have a picture before Merlin took it. So Harry doesn’t know what it is. 

“It’s the pink crested toad.” Merlin says proudly.  
“How nice,” Harry says awkwardly, “You’ve never given me a print of your work before. Why now?”  
“Because you said you wanted a pink crested toad for our anniversary.”  
“I did?”  
“Yes. Ye were on the sofa with me four months ago and said ye thought a pink crested toad would be ‘quite dashing’. Ye did call it a pink weighted toad at the time and it took a lot of luck to clear up that confusion. But I found ye a pink crested toad.”

Harry stares at him blankly for a few moments. Then he bursts into a fit of laughter. He’s laughing so hard that he can’t even breathe and he has to hold himself up on the wall. 

“Why are ye laughing?” Merlin asks, trying not to betray the hurt.  
“I’m sorry darling. This is very sweet. But I didn’t say I wanted a pink weighted toad.”  
“What?”  
“I said I wanted a pink _waist coat_.” And Harry bursts into a fit of laughter again. 

Merlin glances between the pink waist coat Harry is wearing and the print of the toad. Surely the universe wouldn’t be this cruel. But there’s no denying that ‘pink waist coat’ is far more on brand with Harry. 

“I photographed a previously unphotographed and unmapped species because you wanted a waist coat.”  
“Why on earth would you think I’d want a picture of a toad?” Harry asks, wiping tears from his eyes.  
“I didn’t know but I didn’t want to question it.”  
“Next time I say something exceedingly odd, question it before you run around the world for four months and cause me to develop grey hairs.”  
“Will do.”  
“This is going up in the bedroom.” Harry announces, already halfway up the stairs.  
“What? No! Let me submit it to a gallery and get ye something else!”  
“Absolutely not! This is proof that my mad adventuring husband loves me so much he is willing to spend four months trying to track down a rare exotic toad to make me happy,” Harry says, “I want to see it every day.”

Turns out there’s just enough room above the bed for the print.


End file.
